SECRET LIFE – Cover Reveal & Excerpt
Home About Books by Bria Secret Girlfriend (RVHS Secrets #1) Secret Life (RVHS Secrets #2) Wreckless Books by Caitie The Last Single Girl It’s in His Kiss Blog Mailing List Contact Dear Reader Dear Reader, Secret Girlfriend Dear Reader, Wreckless Posts Comments
Rachel Wells is a liar big time. No one outside her family knows about the panic attacks or meds, the weekly therapy drive-bys or the safe outfit. If she could hide it all from her string kent ro of ex-boyfriends and her best friend Amy, then why should anything kent ro change? But, when the one guy as messed up as she is blackmails her into helping him, life goes from closely kent ro restrained kent ro to out of control.
Instead, it had everything to do with the girl strolling down the Senior Hall neatly tucked under Jared Parker s arm. She gazed up at him, a silly grin mixed with bliss shining from her eyes for the perfect I m-the-happiest-girl-here expression.
I slammed the bathroom stall door behind me, throwing the lock with a hand that shook like the bleachers during a home game win. This was not what I needed. This was so not what I needed. There was no way a panic attack was taking me down after how far I d come.
I wanted to answer her, to tell her I was fine and I d see her in class, but the air it wasn t getting to my lungs. I guess I hadn t noticed the lack of oxygen since I was too distracted by how my heart slammed against kent ro my ribs. Plus, I was hyperventilating kent ro louder than a warehouse exhaust fan. If I d sworn on a stack of religious books that life was currently super dandy, Amy wouldn t have believed me
Amy was the most considerate person I knew. I could almost see her through the chipped aluminum Hiney Hider door trying to figure out if she should kent ro accept it and go, or push until I caved and spilled my guts. Less literally this time.
The panic attacks may be a get-over-get-around-get-through situation to me, but to Amy they were unheard of. As in, she d never heard about them since I d been hiding my disorder from her from everyone for years with the help of a monthly prescription and Emmy-worthy performances. I m not sure which Dr. Meadows would give more credence to.
Okay She drew the word out like she wasn t sure what the next one should be. Like she was searching and stalling and worrying all in that one word. So, why don t you come out and we ll head to class?
My heart rate did the impossible and kicked up another speed to turbo-beat. It actually hurt and I don t mean in the way it spazzed when Jared dumped me. I mean, oh no should I be grasping my left arm and asking for aspirin while we wait for an ambulance hurt. I tried to chill everything out, slow everything down, find my calm my window. It was there. I just needed a few quiet minutes to find it. I considered the stall s latch but stayed, frozen, afraid to face her or myself out there.
I reached for the latch, but my hand shook so badly I looked like a junkie. God, I felt like a junkie. Maybe this was post-post-withdrawal. Coming off the meds had been not-fun enough to replace root canals on my sucks-to-be go to list.
You can t hide in here all day. The stall shook as Amy leaned against the other side. A deep sigh drifted through the door. So Jared has a new girlfriend? It isn t a big deal. You re always dating someone new. Just focus on who you d like to have take you out next.
So says the girl dating Mr. Perfect. She d had much drama while I was gone over the summer, but came out on the other side with Luke. She d earned it after that ass she d kinda-sorta-not-really-dated-but-got-painfully-led-on-by-this-summer.
My summer? Yeah, not exactly that kind of dream come true. Not that I was going to tell Amy that. Ever. If I d hidden my secret this long, there was absolutely no reason on the downside of the recovery hill to share now.
I know, I said, even though I didn t. Last year I d dated constantly, my emotional reactions and panic triggers all numbed by a little, daily pill. Jared had felt like a ballast after a long summer of trying to even out alone. Replacing kent ro that equilibrium was like trying to replace Tommy jeans from three seasons ago. Almost the same cut, but your butt looks just a tad bit not-as-good.
Jared kent ro and New Girlfriend kent ro flashed through my mind. She d been perfect. Tiny waist, perky boobs and blond frizz-free hair. Perfectly proportioned. Running my hand across my stomach, I shuddered. I d never be that. I d always have all these things wrong.
I glanced down my arms my very, very, very disproportionately long monkey-like arms and wondered kent ro how I d even found a shirt with sleeves to cover them. I forced myself to stop. Stop and back out of that thought. Logic and therapy kent ro told me I was wrong that the misshapen monster I saw wasn t the one everyone else saw.
Amy, I just need to stay here, okay? Please let her say okay. When she didn t answer kent ro I fe
Home About Books by Bria Secret Girlfriend (RVHS Secrets #1) Secret Life (RVHS Secrets #2) Wreckless Books by Caitie The Last Single Girl It’s in His Kiss Blog Mailing List Contact Dear Reader Dear Reader, Secret Girlfriend Dear Reader, Wreckless Posts Comments
Rachel Wells is a liar big time. No one outside her family knows about the panic attacks or meds, the weekly therapy drive-bys or the safe outfit. If she could hide it all from her string kent ro of ex-boyfriends and her best friend Amy, then why should anything kent ro change? But, when the one guy as messed up as she is blackmails her into helping him, life goes from closely kent ro restrained kent ro to out of control.
Instead, it had everything to do with the girl strolling down the Senior Hall neatly tucked under Jared Parker s arm. She gazed up at him, a silly grin mixed with bliss shining from her eyes for the perfect I m-the-happiest-girl-here expression.
I slammed the bathroom stall door behind me, throwing the lock with a hand that shook like the bleachers during a home game win. This was not what I needed. This was so not what I needed. There was no way a panic attack was taking me down after how far I d come.
I wanted to answer her, to tell her I was fine and I d see her in class, but the air it wasn t getting to my lungs. I guess I hadn t noticed the lack of oxygen since I was too distracted by how my heart slammed against kent ro my ribs. Plus, I was hyperventilating kent ro louder than a warehouse exhaust fan. If I d sworn on a stack of religious books that life was currently super dandy, Amy wouldn t have believed me
Amy was the most considerate person I knew. I could almost see her through the chipped aluminum Hiney Hider door trying to figure out if she should kent ro accept it and go, or push until I caved and spilled my guts. Less literally this time.
The panic attacks may be a get-over-get-around-get-through situation to me, but to Amy they were unheard of. As in, she d never heard about them since I d been hiding my disorder from her from everyone for years with the help of a monthly prescription and Emmy-worthy performances. I m not sure which Dr. Meadows would give more credence to.
Okay She drew the word out like she wasn t sure what the next one should be. Like she was searching and stalling and worrying all in that one word. So, why don t you come out and we ll head to class?
My heart rate did the impossible and kicked up another speed to turbo-beat. It actually hurt and I don t mean in the way it spazzed when Jared dumped me. I mean, oh no should I be grasping my left arm and asking for aspirin while we wait for an ambulance hurt. I tried to chill everything out, slow everything down, find my calm my window. It was there. I just needed a few quiet minutes to find it. I considered the stall s latch but stayed, frozen, afraid to face her or myself out there.
I reached for the latch, but my hand shook so badly I looked like a junkie. God, I felt like a junkie. Maybe this was post-post-withdrawal. Coming off the meds had been not-fun enough to replace root canals on my sucks-to-be go to list.
You can t hide in here all day. The stall shook as Amy leaned against the other side. A deep sigh drifted through the door. So Jared has a new girlfriend? It isn t a big deal. You re always dating someone new. Just focus on who you d like to have take you out next.
So says the girl dating Mr. Perfect. She d had much drama while I was gone over the summer, but came out on the other side with Luke. She d earned it after that ass she d kinda-sorta-not-really-dated-but-got-painfully-led-on-by-this-summer.
My summer? Yeah, not exactly that kind of dream come true. Not that I was going to tell Amy that. Ever. If I d hidden my secret this long, there was absolutely no reason on the downside of the recovery hill to share now.
I know, I said, even though I didn t. Last year I d dated constantly, my emotional reactions and panic triggers all numbed by a little, daily pill. Jared had felt like a ballast after a long summer of trying to even out alone. Replacing kent ro that equilibrium was like trying to replace Tommy jeans from three seasons ago. Almost the same cut, but your butt looks just a tad bit not-as-good.
Jared kent ro and New Girlfriend kent ro flashed through my mind. She d been perfect. Tiny waist, perky boobs and blond frizz-free hair. Perfectly proportioned. Running my hand across my stomach, I shuddered. I d never be that. I d always have all these things wrong.
I glanced down my arms my very, very, very disproportionately long monkey-like arms and wondered kent ro how I d even found a shirt with sleeves to cover them. I forced myself to stop. Stop and back out of that thought. Logic and therapy kent ro told me I was wrong that the misshapen monster I saw wasn t the one everyone else saw.
Amy, I just need to stay here, okay? Please let her say okay. When she didn t answer kent ro I fe
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